Where to start when your parent may need help at home

Your parent has said, half in passing, that some help around the house might not be a bad thing. Since then nobody has known whose move comes next. The steps below come from what public bodies publish: information, not medical, financial or legal advice, and only the body where your parent lives can say what applies to them.

Start with your parent, and with who they want contacted

The help would come into your parent's home, so whether to ask for it, when, and who makes the approach are theirs to settle. Ask them who they would like to make the first contact, and what they are happy for that person to say.

If there is a question over whether your parent can make this kind of decision themselves, that is not the family's to judge; it belongs with their doctor or care team, and the formal side differs from place to place.

Find where the public route starts where your parent lives

Health Canada says the provinces and territories organise, manage and deliver health services in Canada, home and community care included.

Ontario's provincial government says requests for home care services go to Ontario Health atHome.

British Columbia's government says a person can get in touch with the home and community care office in their local health authority to ask for an assessment.

Assisted Living Alberta says it delivers, coordinates and oversees home and community care in the province, and describes its ALA Access Centre as the place that answers questions, walks people through the process and connects them to help.

Ireland's Health Service Executive (HSE) says a person can fill in the Home Support Service application form themselves, and that the completed form goes to the local home support office.

These passages cover Ontario, British Columbia and Alberta in Canada, and Ireland. No official source on where this route starts was found for Québec or the Canadian territories; there, and anywhere else in Canada, the public health or social care body where your parent lives is the one to ask. No official source was found for Thailand; there, the public health or social care body where your parent lives can say how to begin.

Know who else can start it, with your parent

Ontario Health atHome says a referral can come from anyone, including the person, a family member, a friend or a family doctor, with the person's consent. In Ireland, the HSE says a person can nominate someone, such as a family member, carer, GP or registered nurse, to fill in the form for them with their knowledge and consent.

British Columbia's page adds that health care professionals, such as a doctor, nurse or social worker, can make a referral for a person. In Alberta, Assisted Living Alberta describes reaching home and community care through a person's own health care provider, such as their family doctor.

Whoever puts the request in, keep it your parent's request, made with their agreement.

Gather what you may be asked, with your parent

In Ontario, Ontario Health atHome says someone who gets in touch may be asked some questions to understand the person's needs. In Ireland, the HSE's application form has a declaration and consent section for the person applying to sign. Let your parent give the answers, with you alongside if they want.

Let the body that runs the route say what happens next

What happens after that first contact, and whether help follows, is for the public body that runs the route where your parent lives, with your parent. Where an assessment is part of the route, What a care needs assessment is, and your parent's part in it sets out what the bodies say about it. Questions about your parent's health are worth bringing to their doctor or care team. If something cannot wait, How to reach urgent help, wherever you are sets out where to turn.