Weighing care options with your parent and their health professionals

The carer comes three mornings a week, the fridge is stocked and the bins go out on time, and a question has started to sit at the edge of your visits: is this the right arrangement, or are there others worth looking at? Set out below is the range of options that exist, and how they can be weighed with your parent and the health professionals who know them. This page offers information to bring to those conversations, not medical advice. It sets no point at which one option should give way to another, and it cannot say which is right for your parent.

Lay out the full range first

The options are wider than "stay" or "move". The World Health Organization's European office notes that formal long-term care can be given at home, in the community, in residential settings or in hospital. The NHS in England names someone coming into the home to provide help and care as one alternative to a care home. A Canadian federal, provincial and territorial seniors' forum page suggests looking at whether changes to the current home could make it easier to live in, and mentions hiring help with household tasks or buying in services such as meals. Breaks are another option: the NHS in England describes respite care as someone else looking after the person while the person who usually cares for them takes a break, regularly or for a short spell. Forms of respite can include day centres, short stays in a care home or a paid carer visiting at home, and what exists differs by where your parent lives. The same Canadian page notes that in housing with support services, what is offered depends on the place and on the person's needs.

Some families try things first

The Family Caregiver Alliance in the United States describes some families trying a day programme once or twice, or a short trial stay in a residential setting. The same Canadian forum page suggests thinking about future needs even when no move is planned.

Start with what your parent wants

The NHS in England notes that many people are worried about leaving their home. The Family Caregiver Alliance observes that some older adults may see outside help as costing them privacy or independence. It suggests involving the person, if possible, in choosing an in-home aide, a day programme or a residential setting.

Talk about the feelings a move can bring

The NHS in England calls a move into a care home a big decision. The Alzheimer Society of Canada writes that a family considering a move may feel guilt, sadness or second thoughts, and may also feel relief at sharing the responsibility for care with others. How to bring it up without a fight looks at opening that conversation.

Weigh it with the health professionals who know them

Which option fits your parent is worth bringing to their doctor or other health professionals, alongside your parent's own view. How needs are assessed, what is available and how it is paid for differ by where your parent lives; Paying for care and How the care system works where you are are the parts of this hub for that side. Whether a parent is able to make a particular decision for themselves is not something a family is asked to settle on its own; where that is in question, it is for their doctor or care team, and the formal side differs by where your parent lives. If something happens that can't wait, How to reach urgent help, wherever you are covers how to reach help.